The Elephant in the Room Is Wreaking Havoc

During my time as an elementary school principal, I recall observing a D.A.R.E. (Drug Abuse Resistance Education) officer conducting a lesson for 5th graders on drugs and violence. During the lesson, a student mentioned violence in video games. Within a short period of time, students were excitedly talking about Grand Theft Auto (GTA), a video game I knew nothing about at the time, but one about which the DARE officer knew a LOT. Offhandedly, the officer asked students to raise their hands if they were aware of or had viewed versions of the game that were deemed inappropriate for children. Slowly, hands began to raise. I later learned from the officer that certain editions of GTA depict extreme violence and sexual material, including sexual violence. While game developers are quick to cite that such games are labeled “M” for Mature Audiences only (18+), the reality is that even elementary-aged children find ways to access such games.

Violent and sexually graphic material are currently referenced in a variety of social media games – far more than parents may realize. According to a 2023 report issued by Common Sense Media, 73% of the survey respondents said they had watched online pornography, with the average starting age being 12. Some participants admitted to viewing pornographic material during the school day on school-owned devices. (1)

Early exposure to inappropriate material can lead to emotional disconnect and increased aggression, as well as misconceptions and/or unhealthy attitudes about male and female roles and sexual relationships; attitudes that can have lifetime implications, including the potential for pornography addiction. Excessive time spent on certain types of social media sites that contain persuasive content can induce, perpetuate, or intensify a number of mental health problems in those vulnerable (i.e., eating disorders, self-harm, drug use, body image, anxiety).

During the last few years electronic device usage has increased exponentially for children of all ages. Teens report spending as much as 5 hours daily online. When it comes to viewing habits and the amount of time their children spend on electronic devices, parents are often in the dark. By the time reality sets in, they are woefully unprepared for the level of resistance they encounter. Parents have noted extreme, rapidly escalating verbal arguments and even physical confrontations when making attempts to manage/curtail their child’s device usage. In order to determine if a child’s media usage has reached the point of addiction, parents must be brutally honest in their observations.

Children may be addicted to screens if they…

• become agitated, irritable, and even angry when asked to stop using their device.
• regularly choose/allow screen time to interfere with other activities (schoolwork, daily living, hygiene), particularly
• socializing with friends and family.
• become overtly moody and anxious when not allowed to use their device.
• frequently seem tired/sleepy, have difficulty sleeping, and express that they are not sleeping well.
• continue to use their devices despite negative consequences such as falling grades or decreasing contact with friends. (2)

Often parents will make excuses for their children, chalking behaviors up to ‘being a teen’ or just another ‘childhood phase’. The reality is that screen addiction is serious. As with other addictions, it becomes one’s central focus (limiting psychological and emotional growth, narrowing one’s perspective...). The developing brains of children are at greatest risk. As the primary caregivers, it is up to parents to take the reins and do whatever is necessary to break the electronic device ‘chains’ that are robbing so many children/youth of a normal, healthy childhood – including going ‘cold turkey’ in order to effectively set new boundaries. Though behaviors may well get worse (in some cases, much worse) before they get better, parents must resolve to stay determined and stay the course. When all is said and done, the gain will definitely be worth the pain.

Sharon Knapp Lamberth
Certified Leadership Parent Coach

References:

1. Common Sense Media Report (as noted in Psychology Today article, New Report Find Most Teens Watch Online Pornography by T. Lickona, Ph. D; posted June 2023)
2. Institute of Digital Media and Child Development - Parenting Tip Sheets